Real Breasts Vs. Fake Breasts.

Before I moved to the US, I had never felt a fake pair of breasts before. In fact, I don't think I even knew anyone who had them.

However, without going through my phone book or writing anything down, I estimate I've now had the pleasure of feeling about 39 fake boobs. (One girl only let me play with one of them.)

I don't know how common implants have become in the UK in the last seven years, but in the US it seems that virtually all girls without large breasts have either paid for them already or are saving up.

The thing is, as far as I'm concerned, fake boobs are often quite disappointing. Probably as low as 5-10% of them (usually the smaller ones) are hard to distinguish (by touch) from real ones. Of the remainder many are aesthetically pleasing, but they fail the Pepsi challenge for being far too rigid.

Breast Competition #1

Here are this week's boobs, taken earlier today next to my PC.

Question: Are these boobs real or fake?

Big Pair of Tits

I intend to persuade some girls I know to let me upload some pictures of their breasts. In the meantime, here are a pair of tits I found on the internet:




David Icke



Highstack :)

Hand Analysis (Response)

Question 1. Do you raise, call, or fold, and why?

We have at least 13 outs, and probably 14; any diamond (except perhaps 2d or Td) and any King or 8. There are 44 unknowns (we know he doesn’t have a King or 8, and it’s most likely he doesn’t have a diamond.)

So, we have nearly 2/1 pot odds, and over 3/1 implied odds. We are being layed at 2/1 so our odds are good enough to see the river. Folding is not an option.

Pushing doesn’t give us any fold equity against this type of opponent at the cash table. His instant flop raise and instant pot-sized turn bet is a clear indictation of this.

Call.


Question 2. Do you check behind or push all-in, and why? What hand does villain have?

Up until the turn, it wasn’t too important to put him on a specific hand. It was sufficient to know that we had enough outs to make the call. Usually it would be an easy check/fold here however his near-instant check on the river, combined with the board pairing, gives his hand away I think.

The vast majority of players are often quite easy to read solely from the speed of their bets and most are not good at disguising this. (E.g. How do most players play their flopped set against a pre-flop raiser? They stall, and make a “reluctant’ call or raise. Very few call instantly.)

So what holdings can he have? Up until the river, it can be narrowed down to either a set or two pair. AT is possible I suppose, but only poor cash players would check the flop and then play it so strongly OOP at a full-handed table. Two pair would be the most likely holding (pre-river) due to the speed and size of his bets- indicting a need to protect his hand. (A set holder would generally take more time over his bet, and would certainly want a call.)

Once the river has been dealt, anyone holding a set here would push all-in 95% of the time. On a more draw heavy flop then a check/call could be justified to induce a bluff, however our drawing hand is so diguised it’s virtually impossible to put us on a hand that isn’t already made. (8d7d and Jd8d are probably the other other drawing hands we could have that had the odds to call the large turn bet.)

Once the set is ruled out, that leaves T9, T2 or 92. T9 would also push here as it’s unlikely we have an overpair given that we didn’t raise pre-flop from late position.
This leaves T2 or 92 as the only holdings that made sense. (The board pairing on the river counterfeited his hand.)

All-in.

Hero bets $112.35, and is all in
Villain has 15 seconds left to act
Villain folds
Uncalled bet of $112.35 returned to Hero
Hero shows [Qd Jd] a pair of Threes
Hero wins the pot ($181)
.
.
.
Hero: 2 pair right?
Villain: lol
Hero: 92 probably
Villain: u think u r good
Hero: tell me I'm wrong then

(As a general rule large river bluffs at full-handed cash should be avoided. I’ll often show my rare river bluffs to increase the chances of future big hands getting a call.)

So, as it turned out we actually had 19 outs on the turn (if we call) and 14 outs if we push. The 19 outs include 5 “pseudo outs”; outs that wouldn’t win us the pot in a showdown but do allow us to win the pot on a bluff as long as we have position.

Hand Analysis

I had one hand earlier from tonight that produced what is quite an interesting situation, although at first glance it may not appear so.

The villain (BB) is a typically ordinary player at these tables. He doesn't bluff too much. He is not too good at disguising his hands and bets strongly to protect good but vunerable holdings. He is a bit of a calling station but is capable of folding when he knows his hand is no good.

$1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 0:59:41 ET - 2007/06/24
Seat 1: UTG+1 ($189.15)
Seat 2: MP1 ($203.70)
Seat 3: MP2 ($215.90)
Seat 4: Hero ($202.35)
Seat 5: Button ($355.10)
Seat 6: Empty
Seat 7: SB ($108.55)
Seat 8: Villain ($170.15)
Seat 9: UTG ($258.85)
SB posts the small blind of $1
Villain posts the big blind of $2
Dealt to Hero [Qd Jd]
UTG calls $2
3 players fold
Hero calls $2
Button folds
SB calls $1
Villain checks
*** FLOP *** [Ts 2c 9d]
SB checks
Villain checks
UTG checks
Hero bets $7
SB folds
Villain raises to $26 [Instantly]
UTG folds
Hero calls $19
*** TURN *** [Ts 2c 9d] [3d]
Villain bets $62 [Instantly]
Hero ???

(Current pot size is $122)

Question 1. Do you raise, call, or fold, and why?

Assuming that we call and the following happens:

Hero calls $62
*** RIVER *** [Ts 2c 9d 3d] [3h]
Villain checks [After a 2 second pause]
Hero ???

(Villain has invested $90 into the pot, and has $80 left.)

Question 2. Do you check behind or push all-in, and why? What hand does villain have?

And God said, Let there be poker, and there was poker.

I sat down at a Blackjack table and was dealt three cards. That was in 2004 at a Lake Tahoe casino, and I was drunk. It turned out to be “Let ‘Em Ride Poker” and I decided to continue playing.

After that holiday I played it at online casinos for several months, until one day in October I came across the poker link on Betfair’s main site. I figured that as I already knew the hand rankings and had some idea of the likelihood of each hand occurring that it couldn’t be too hard! I read the instructions and sat down at a $1/2 NL short-handed table, which probably wasn’t the ideal place to start.

October 17th, 2004: -$251

I found the limit tables the next day and decided that they would be a safer place to learn on:

October 18th, 2004: -$11
October 19th, 2004: -$102
October 20th, 2004: -$143

So after four days, I was over $500 down but I remember being very confident that I was going to make money at poker. In fact, I told two of my mates that night at the gym precisely that, although they didn’t believe me.

However during the next week I didn’t have a single losing day, making a total of $881. I ended the month with a small profit:

October, 2004: +$287

I bought a load of poker books, and continued playing nothing but 4 tables of $1/2 limit for the next few months with encouraging results:

November, 2004: +$560
December, 2004: +$2,057
January, 2005: +$579
February, 2005: +$928

I certainly wasn’t a great poker player, but purely by being selective of starting hands seemed to be enough of an edge over the other players in order to guarantee a profit each month.

I was a regular reader of the Betfair poker forum during this time, but had no experience of tournament poker. From what I read, it seemed the majority of players concentrated mainly on STTs/MTTs so I decided to give them a try. I entered my first full-handed £5 STT and was lucky enough to win that. I then tried a £10 one and came first in that too.

I continued with full-handed low-stake (mainly $11) STTs for the next few months and at some point I moved most of my play over to Party Poker.

March, 2005: +$2,049
April, 2005: +$1,142
May, 2005: +$1,806
June, 2005: +$496
July, 2005: +$654

Thanks to the general low standard of play at these stakes, it’s not too hard to grind out a regular, albeit small, profit just by applying a pretty simple robotic style of play.

For the next three months I moved up to $22/$33 STTs, now playing 6 at a time:

August, 2005: +$3,486
September, 2005: +$2,878
October, 2005: +$2,289

So, one year on with almost $20k profit I was certainly hooked on poker. In fact at this point I would go so far as to say I was addicted. This may be an advantage when it comes to making money, but if you’re not careful then it can have a detrimental effect on other aspects of your life. Discipline, and not just at the table, is probably the most important trait that a successful poker player needs. I’ll add more to this topic in a later post.

Anyway, it was at this point that a good bit of fortune led me to the NL cash tables. [To be continued...]

I may not get a chance to start this blog properly for another few days. In the meantime here are some photos of an ex-girlfriend. Once I figure out how to do it, I'll link up her XXX videos too. :)

Moi, My daughters; Melea and Narena, and my current set-up.