"Someone Please Call 911..."

As least Mary J Blige wasn't singing about being gang-raped at the poker table like I was tonight. I feel so dirty. I'm going to take a shower with my clothes on.

Now, I'm not one to moan about bad beats. It's not rigged. They happen. I'm not any luckier or unluckier than anyone else.

I post this small sample of hands from last night just to show how variance can be a bitch at times.

This play by my opponent is terrible- getting it all in pre-flop with AKo when deep-stacked. He was less than a 6% dog to win:

AA v AKo

This is just a cooler. I knew I was ahead of the short-stacked maniac so made the correct flop call. I wasn't too happy when the other player called...

FH v Quads

In this hand the guys river his Quads as a 4.5% dog when the money goes in. (My flop all-in may look strange but my cable had just started playing up and kept disconnecting me in the middle of pots.)

Another FH v Quads

This is my "favourite" hand of the night, and just demonstrates how fucking useless so many of the players are. I mean- what the fuck does he think he's beating? He is a 0.66% dog to win the hand when the money goes in!!

Runner/Runner FH

Obviously you want fucking idiots playing like this but sometimes it's not always easy to laugh it off. I lost $300 in total. On another night, playing every hand exactly the same way, it could easily be a $1,000+ night.

Anyway, more importantly....

Picture #2: Real or Fake?