Show Me the Way to Go Home...

Saturday was a big night out. We had close to 30 people over at the house first for a couple of hours before all heading into town.

I got completely shit-faced and only remember a few minutes from the first bar we went into. I have no recollection of the time spent in the club.

My mate Jon called me today to let me know that even though I don't remember it, I did have a good time! He also told me that as we were leaving, some very pretty (and very drunk) girl was looking at me so he tried to get her lined up for me (fuck knows why because even at 3pm the next afternoon I was still so fucked up I couldn't even have a wank.)

He said he was doing a great job and it looked as if she was going to come back. All this time I had said nothing and was just leaning against Jon to stop myself from falling over. Anyway, eventually she said that she'd better not as she had a boyfriend. Apparently I just laughed and said "Well, fuck off then you slag!"

Jon had to go to the loo because he was laughing so much and started to piss himself! I'm sure I was just having a laugh because I'd never intentionally talk like that to a girl. Honest. Well, usually not.

Anyway, we got a cab back to mine and I opened up my 16 tables of $1/$2 about 3am. I also don't remember any of this but I carried on drinking and playing until 1:30pm (Over 10 hours!!) The funny thing is, by the time I'd finished I'd made over $3,000!!- taking my profits for the last 3 days to almost $7k including rake back.

Vegan Baby

I've decided to give up meat and dairy produce.

Not really- that's just a typo.

After arriving in Vegas on the Thursday afternoon, I met up with JPJ, Fishpoo, and Ace3 from the Betfair forum, together with the rest of their posse. We joined the tables at the Mirage and I played through until noon the next day.

A quick calculation of (14 hours play * ~3 drinks/hour) + 7 drinks beforehand adds up to around 50 drinks of vodka redbull and beers.

I played a little $1/$2 before moving on to the $2/$5 table. The standard was poor, I played pretty loose, and the drunker I got, the move bluffs I made- and showed. I was having fun but ultimately lost about $700!

Fuck knows how, but it took me about 45 minutes to make it back to the Imperial Palace which is just across the road from the Mirage! I then slept for about 24 hours, before hitting the $1/$2 tables at Harrahs. It was pretty boring and uneventful though so I went to find a $2/$5 table at Caesars Palace.

The table was pretty soft and I built my $600 staring stack up to over $2,000. One of the main differences between online and live play is, of course, how much easier it is to get a read playing live. As a result I found myself 3-barrel bluffing far more than I would do when sat at home playing naked. (Although being drunk the whole time I was playing in Vegas probably contributed to the increased bluffing too.)

I had arranged to meet Nation, from the 2+2 forums, there at Caesars- and he joined the table together with Oldschool, also from the forum. They are both very good players. Nation’s style isn’t too dissimilar from my own- but it was good to see Oldschool playing his loose/aggressive game. It’s certainly tricker to play against- especially when both players are deep-stacked.

Unfortunately for Nation, Oldschool took about 4 buy-ins off of him. I was chatting too much with JPJ, who was sat watching, and drinking too much to really be paying enough attention to the game though. I 2-bet and 3-bet oldschool all-in a couple of times to see if he wanted to build a $4k+ pre-flop pot, but he declined! To be honest, I don’t have much experience playing 400BB deep-stacked poker so I was just making it easy for me! :p

One hand of note was when I raised to $20 from CO with KsJs. The button called, and both blinds folded. The flop came As Xs Yc, giving me the nut flush draw. I bet $35 and the button min-raised. He had a bunch of rolled up $100s on the table, together with his pile of chips, but he refused to answer me when I asked him how many he had there! When instructed that he had to tell me, he simply raised 4 fingers- obviously not wanting to give any tells away! I started playing around a little, joking about, and I told him if he bet the turn, then I’d raise him.

The turn was a beautiful spade, giving me the nuts. He made a string bet of $100 + $60 and was told only the $100 could stand. I continued joking about, trying to represent a mediocre hand, and kept him waiting for a decision. Eventually I said something like “Well, I told you I was going to raise you if you bet the turn” and then made a Hellmuth-style all-in, pushing all of my chips into the middle in a quick, messy fashion. He called instantly showing a lower flush, and he wasn’t happy with all the theatricals. Perhaps I was a little OTT, but I was drunk and there to have a good time!

I moved on to the Venetian next, and found that $2/$5 table pretty soft too. I had hoped to meet up with Nation and Oldschool at a club later on, but I got carried away playing poker and drinking, and I didn’t stop until 9am. I felt I was playing pretty well, and making plenty of successful bluffs. I then lost a big pot to the calling station on my right, although to be honest it was probably a pretty bad bluff. However, I found a decent hand against the same player the very next hand:

I called his flop bet with QT on a QJT board, and then raised him big when the turn brought another T. (I was expecting a quick call because I had tried exactly the same move on the previous hand.) Following a blank river, I tried to look nervous as if I was going to try another bluff, and eventually threw $400 into the pot. He called instantly before mucking what he says was top pair. He also said he would have called an all-in which was surprising as I had an additional $400 behind me- presumably my image was that bad! In the end I left the Venetian about $700 or so up, which together with the $1,500 profit from Caesars made for a decent day at the $2/$5 tables.

After a brief sleep, I returned to the Mirage for our last night, and met up with JPJ and co again. The five of us sat together on a $1/$2 table and had a good laugh- even if we did piss off several others at the table. I made a small profit of less than $200, so I finished around $1,500 up for the trip.

I’m returning to Vegas mid-April for the Joe Calzaghe vs. Bernhard Hopkins fight, and I think I’ll probably go back again later in the year for the WSOP. My next poker (and snowboarding) trip is Lake Tahoe at the end of March although I’ll be back in England in a fortnight’s time where I’m hoping to play some more live poker.


Muppets. Can't Live with 'em, Can't Kill 'em.

As hard as I try, sometimes it's impossible to not get angry and frustrated with some of the fucking awful players out there. (Unfortunately, winning a pot equal in size from those same opponents, due to their poor play, doesn't seem to undo that unwelcome emotion!)

I've just finished a 3 hour session, and despite winning $1k, I am still a little frustrated- hence this post. :)

Muppet of the Day #17: dodger84

How the fuck does he cold-call a pre-flop re-raise OOP with Q5s?

Oh yeah- it's 'cos they fucking look pretty. :)

Full Tilt Poker, $1/$2 NL Hold'em Cash Game, 8 Players
LeggoPoker.com Hand History Converter

MP2: $346.60
CO: $200
BTN: $330.75
dodger84: $394.90
BB: $109.80
UTG: $144.85
UTG+1: $36
Hero (MP1): $196

Pre-Flop: Kc Ks dealt to Hero (MP1)
UTG raises to $4, UTG+1 folds, Hero raises to $15, 3 folds, dodger84 calls $14, BB folds, UTG calls $11

Flop: ($47) Qs 8s 5s (3 Players)
dodger84 bets $10, UTG calls $10, Hero raises to $64, dodger84 calls $54, UTG calls $54

Turn: ($239) 9c (3 Players)
dodger84 checks, UTG checks, Hero bets $117 and is All-In, SB calls $117, UTG calls $65.85 and is All-In

River: ($538.85) 6h (3 Players - 1 is All-In)

Results: $538.85 Pot ($3 Rake)
dodger84 showed 5d Qd (two pair, Queens and Fives) and WON $535.85 (+$339.85 NET)
UTG showed As Kh (Ace King high) and LOST (-$144.85 NET)
Hero showed Kc Ks (a pair of Kings) and LOST (-$196 NET)


Muppet of the Day #18: Milo76

I'm not going to bother posting any of Milo76's hand histories. Instead I'm just going to make him an honorary Muppet of the Day. Congratulations Milo76.

Speech Milo?



Of course, Muppet of the Day, is really just a bit of light-hearted banter- although admittedly it is kind of refreshing naming some of the shit players. You know we love you really though.


M.T.T. Yeah You Know Me

I played 3 MTTs this week-end for a change. Yesterday I came 7th out of 467 in the FT Ironman for $675 and I won a 37-man satellite into today's big 5,637-man $300 FTOPS MTT.

Unfortunately I came up against a muppet called "Carlonius11" just before the first break.

Muppet of the Day #19: Carlonius11

Full Tilt Poker, NL Hold'em Tournament, 30/60 Blinds, 9 Players
LeggoPoker.com - Hand History Converter

BB: 5,720
UTG: 8,140
UTG+1: 3,300
UTG+2: 4,225
Hero (MP1): 3,200
MP2: 5,768
CO: 1,470
BTN: 6,750
Carlonius11: 6,987

Pre-Flop: (90) Js Jd dealt to Hero (MP1)
3 folds, Hero raises to 210, 3 folds, Carlonius11 calls 180, BB calls 150

Flop: (630) 2s 9c 9s (3 Players)
SB checks, BB checks, Hero bets 390, Carlonius11 raises to 900, BB folds, Hero raises to 2,990 and is All-In, Carlonius11 calls 2,090 <---- Instant Call

Turn: (6,610) 3s (2 Players - 1 is All-In)

River: (6,610) 2d (2 Players - 1 is All-In)

Results: 6,610 Pot
Hero showed Js Jd (two pair, Jacks and Nines) and LOST (-3,200 NET)
Carlonius11 showed 2c Ad (a full house, Twos full of Nines) and WON 6,610 (+3,410 NET

Probably no-one told him that this was a $300 freeze-out. Wanker.